I am at the very beginning of this journey to health and wellness. I must confess, health hasn’t been a very big priority in my life. I’ve been overweight ever since I can remember. Admittedly, I haven’t tried very many “Diets” aside from Weight Watchers or My Fitness Pal. I’ve lost weight, only to gain it back from lack of motivation. I’ve lived most of my life just “accepting” that I will always be a “big girl”. I do come from 2 families of big people. My great grandmother on my maternal grandfather’s side weighed close to 400 lbs when she died, if I remember the story correctly. My Dad was a big man who loved food who came from a family who liked to eat. I pretty much grew up thinking that eating a lot was a normal way to live. I know now that genetics only has part of the blame…my choices carry the brunt of it.
Throughout junior high school I weighed 235-250 lbs… I was teased and taunted and even had boys chanting “Boom Baba Boom Baba Boom” (think Teddy from the movie “Stand by Me”) down the hallway of my school at me. I was a borderline diabetic at that time and my parents put me on a strict diet. I lost a lot of weight and although I was never “skinny minnie” I was a much healthier weight than I had been. Most of high school I maintained a size 14-16.
Once I graduated high school and got out into the real world, met the man who was to be my husband, moved to NY and discovered food again. I married into an italian family and was introduced to all kinds of delicious foods, once again, I ballooned. Food definitely won over health. Twelve years into my marriage my husband decided he didn’t want to be married anymore. He also struggled with weight issues, was trying to get healthy and I admittedly was suffering so badly within myself just dealing with every day life, that I didn’t really notice or care what he was doing. I could have been more supportive, but I liked food too much to think about health. When a marriage fails, there is fault on all sides, and I admit that this is probably one of my biggest “faults”. After we separated and divorced through a much more difficult story than I can tell here, God brought me to Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee where life began over. I was the biggest I had ever been…a size 30/32. I decided that I needed to get healthy…again…and lost over 50 lbs. Gave up when life got hard…tried again a year later…you get the idea…I yo yo dieted.
At 37 years of age, I am to the point where I KNOW I need to do something about my unhealthy weight and eating. I’ve got a “pretty face” living on a very unhealthy body. I need to make a choice…do I want health or do I want to continue to feed my body with very unhealthy food choices. I am a self proclaimed junk food junky. It’s regular habit to drive through McDonalds or Burger King to pick up dinner at the end of the day after a photo shoot because I’m exhausted and don’t feel like cooking or preparing a meal. I know I can’t live this way anymore and I don’t want to. I want to CHOOSE HEALTH and I want health to win over food. I have so many goals and dreams that require me to be a much more active, healthy and in shape human being. I cannot let food win, anymore!
Below you will see some photographs of me over the years. It honestly hurts me to look at most of them. In 1994 I was a senior in high school…I looked pretty good. Since that time I’ve gone up and up and up, down some, back up and so on.